A recipe to madness
Alternate names
Wiki/Google groups
Thu Jan 08 2009
Original language
Cartoon adaptation
Abuse Level
Violence, abuse, mental breakdown, death, human involvement

Everybody knows when a Yukkuri is soaked in orange juice,all their injuries are healed, even if they just killed the Yukkuri; another fact about Yukkuris is that they can stand extreme levels of physical or mental abuse before becoming completely crazy, each Yukkuri, according to its age, has an increasing mental breakdown threshold: baby Yukkuris and Koyukkuris are very easier to become insane that adult Yukkuris.

So,l decided to try something that was never done before, something that I call "my recipe to madness": I pour 1 liter of orange juice into a transparent refractory glass pot and put it in a stove, I heat the pot on high flame until it starts to boil, the bubbles on the surface of the juice burst violently emitting a thin thread of steam, I turn a stove knob to set the flame to low.

In a small box next to the stove, there is a Koyukkuri Alice which I bought in the pet shop this morning, it is happily eating some candy I left for it. After its snack, I offer it some orange juice in a bottle cap, which licks it until is done and looks very happy.

"Would you like more juice?"

"Yu! Alice wants more juice!"

Its answer is emphasized with little jumps and a drooling mouth, small drops of sugar water fall from its mouth and lands on the cardboard, making a small thump sound. I put my hand into the box and Alice jumps on it and I take it to the stove, her face has a very happy expression while she keeps saying "juice, juice". I put my hand above the pot, the steam of the boiling juice heats my hand and the Koyukkuri.

"Mister, Alice is hot!"

"Want some orange juice to get cool?"

"Yu! Alice wants to get cool!"


I turn my hand and Koyukkuri falls into the boiling juice, it screams while it dunks to the bottom of the pot, I set the flame to high and the juice starts to boil violently again. The bubbles on the surface make a small popping sound which is combined with watery,slurry screams of the Koyukkuri.


After one minute, Koyukkuri starts to slam the walls of the pot, its face of absolute pain and despair is flattened against the glass when tries to escape of its hot,glassy prison: its eyes are inflated and bloodshot and its cute iris is reduced to a small blue dot, the mouth is wide open and shows an enormous tongue and two rows of teeth. All of its body is inflated because its boiling innards are emitting some steam.

The sight is simply enjoyable, despite of the fact that screams are kind of weak because Koyukkuri Alice is under water and its words have degraded to an unintelligible slur because its tongue has inflated. I take a look at a clock on the wall of the kitchen and I notice that five minutes have elapsed since I started to cook my recipe, so I take a slotted ladle and take the Koyukkuri away from the pot and I put it on a plate, I let it to cool down so it can deflate to its original size.

"Koyukkuri, want some more juice?"

Koyukkuri starts to tremble, its eyes look odd, they are looking in opposite directions and the pupils open very wide, its mouth opens a little and starts to drool a lot while laughs loudly with an odd sound.

"Gera, gera, gera"

The recipe was a success, the Koyukkuri has turned completely insane because it experimented so much physical damage by immersion and overheating that its mind broke down, I suppose that Koyukkuri wanted death so bad. Boiling and immersion, each one by itself, would have killed the Koyukkuri, but such a thing didn't happen because it was submerged in orange juice, so every burn was healed immediately and skin was not dissolved by juice's water, it's something very different to an immersion in boiling water: its eyes would have exploded because of steam buildup within them and its innards would have boiled before its body has dissolved completely.

I don't know what to do with this insane Alice right know, Koyukkuris taste sour and probably this one will taste awful because it went beyond the limits of mental distress, which makes innards sweeter. I think a bit and I come out with something.

"I'll put you in a cool place."

I take the Koyukkuri and I put it into the box where I put its food and take it out to the backyard, so it can say as much "gera, gera" as it likes while it starves to death. After two days, I don't hear anything I go out to check if it is already dead and I notice that it is still alive,but its laugh is very weak,the inner mouth looks dry on the parts which don't have contact with saliva,its body's trembling has reduced and eyes are red, maybe it has not closed them since it was boiled.

I keep checking it out every day just to see it how it becomes weaker and weaker: its skin starts to get loose and its eyes look deflated because its filling is being consumed, its mouth gets completely dry and a strip of dry saliva can be seen at one edge of its mouth and no sound comes out of its mouth. Five days later, Koyukkuri Alice dies, its corpse resembles a dark and wrinkly prune, I take it to the kitchen and throw it into the garbage bin. And that is the end for an insane Koyukkuri Alice.

Maybe next time,I will try the same thing with a bigger Yukkuri to figure out if they can endure more punishment.